Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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