That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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