It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Drunk is not a location!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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