so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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