New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Four minutes until I can fart!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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