Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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