we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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