We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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