is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
