White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
