I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
