she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
