he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
