Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
