What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
