Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
