When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
