Cold hands, warm shart.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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