well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
