I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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