you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
