its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
