There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
