bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Is her dick bigger than yours?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
