Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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