Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
