Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize