Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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