just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
