Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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