Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Randomize
