im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
