two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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