I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
