New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We smell like vodka and hangover
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
