I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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