Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My vagina just clenched in fear
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
