i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
