Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
