Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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