Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
