shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
