just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
dude. I can hear the air.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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