Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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