ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You can't just leave with hair like that
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
