i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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