I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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