Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
its liver damage thursday
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