We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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