please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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