her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize