OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
