Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
