you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
