The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I skipped work to stalk him.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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