Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
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