Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
