Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
