for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
